Example from a Modelled Writing Lesson

The following example is provided in PETAA Book Teaching with Intent 2: Literature-based literacy teaching and learning, written by Bronwyn Parkin and Helen Harper, published in 2019. 

Here is an example from a modelled writing lesson using a short story Nails written by Paul Jennings. 

T: Our learning goal is to write a suspense passage like Paul Jennings, using a slow reveal and character reactions. So we’re going to write one together first for practice. I’m just going to ask Mahmoud to pick the setting, Leo to choose a scary thing that would work in that setting, and Petra to choose the name of our protagonist.
SS: (Decide on setting, scary thing and protagonist.)
T: Okay. So here’s our first clue. (Holds up arrow.) What does this mean?
S: We have to get our character to the hiding place of the scary thing.
T: Yes we do. So let’s think about this. In Nails, Lehman walked. Why did he walk?
S: He’s not scared.
T: Yes, so is our character Alisha scared yet? No? Okay so how will we make her move to show that she’s not scared. We could have ‘walked’, or ‘strolled’, or ‘wandered’ …
SS: Walked, wandered, tiptoed...
T: Okay, I’m just going to write ‘walked’, like Paul Jennings did, but when you write your own, you can choose any action that shows your protagonist isn’t scared.

Notice that the teacher doesn’t waste too much time on choosing the setting and characters. This is just an example in preparation for the students’ own writing, so it doesn’t matter. We don’t waste time taking votes over decisions like this.

Because the students in this example are older, the teacher is able to check for handover of the structure clues. She makes sure that the students know what the arrow means. When they get to the first decision, she refers
back to Paul Jennings’s word choice and offers alternatives. This is important. If we are working with students with a large vocabulary, we can ask them to make suggestions at this point, but if we’re working with marginalised students, chances are they don’t have a large vocabulary. In that case, we have to have a few possible choices ready to offer, so that they can take part in making those choices.

This is slow, steady, thoughtful, intentional work. It is the work that makes the difference between success for a few and success for all our students.